In my last post I identified that I was at the bottom of the EGS when it came to how I felt about money. Well I am pretty sick of feeling like crap over it so I am going to write out all my current thoughts and feelings and then find a better thought and move myself up as far as I can today.
- We are going to have no money to support our baby when she is born (fear / guilt)
- We are going to have no money to pay our bills, we are already struggling (despair)
- I am going to have to go back to work instead of looking after my health and my new born baby (guilt)
- I feel bad for not working, and making my boyfriend the sole income provider, it's not fair on him (guilt / powerlessnes)
- It's not fair that we are struggling, especially when I know about the LOA (guilt)
- I wish it was as easy for me to get into my Vortex and attract money as it seems to be for everyone else (jealousy)
- I wish I could let go of the control on "how" something is going to happen, and let the universe figure it out (hatred)
- I feel like if I don't know how it's going to happen, it wont happen (hatred)
- How come they can do it and I can't? (jealousy / hatred)
- It's not fair, I wish they would share their wealth and help someone who actually needs it, like us (jealousy)
- Why can't I do this? (anger)
- What if the LOA doesn't exist and I am just wasting my time? (discouragement)
- What if I have been suckered into this way of thinking and nothing is coming my way? (discouragement)
- If the LOA likes speed, and can manifest a beautiful text message from my boyfriend right when I am thinking about how much I love him, how come it can't do this? (discouragement / blame)
- How come I am not seeing it? (discouragement)
- Why are all these LOA teachers in America, why can't they come to Australia and help me? (blame)
- Why do they have to charge so much? How can I attend a lecture on manifesting money when I can't even afford to go to the lecture? (blame)
- What if I never manage to manifest any money, and our situation doesn't change? (worry)
- What if this is as good as it gets? (worry)
- What if working hard and from 9 - 5 is the only way I am going to be able to earn money? (worry)
- What if I miss my children growing up because I have to work, and giving them a house to call their home and marrying my boyfriend all because I couldn't get this right? (worry)
- I don't want to live like that (worry / overwhelment)
- I don't want my children to live like that (worry / overwhelment)
- Everything is the same size according to the universe, it's as easy to manifest a cup of coffee as it is to manifest a million dollars... apparently (frustration / impatience)
- At least I have a roof over my head, it could be worse (boredom)
- My parents are very supporting and have said they will do what they can to help (contentment)
- I want to be able to give my children a life with only positive thoughts towards money (hopefulness)
- I want to be a good positive role model for them, and not nit-pick the negatives to their wonderful ideas, or say "we can't afford that" (hopefulness)
- Writing this is a good way to start thinking positive (optimism)
- Maybe someone will read it who will be able to offer some advice I haven't even thought of? (positive expectation)
- At least I know about the LOA, and I can work on getting into the Vortex more often (positive expectation)
- I can use the Abraham Hicks forum and my Meditation for Dummies book to help me instead of just having them "there" (positive expectation)
- I know I will get it right, and I am only 30 days or less away from feeling the feelings at the top of the Emotional Guidance Scale regarding money (positive expectation)
- When I get there, and feel those feelings, everything I desire will follow (positive expectation)
- I will be able to stay to home with my baby (passion)
- My boyfriend wont have to worry about how much he is earning (passion)
- Our bills will take care of themselves (passion)
- I can do this if I believe I can do this (knowledge / empowerment)
I have to admit I do feel better from when I started typing this, but I feel like I should post it in the AH forum to get some feedback. Letting go of the "how" is going to be the biggest challenge I have, as I have always had to know "how" when it came to the big things in life. Hopefully someone can offer me some advice to get out of the way of the universe. I might grab my meditation book and keep reading, and learn how to meditate so I can learn how to control my negative thoughts and quieten down my mind.
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